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    October 19

    go go go,you must find a new world

     
    因为开始做时装周专题,所以又开始了加班生涯。
    一边和小麦在msn上胡扯,一边就又忽然间觉得厌倦了。
    有的时候,忽然就感觉到曾经熟悉的东西已经不在了,那种熟悉将永远存在于记忆之中。
    我从来都没法解释这种情况,因为每次我都是被动接受的一方。
    在我小的时候,我会为这消失和这不能解释而歇斯底里,试图把我曾经拥有的永远留住。
    而现在,我会对自己说,去寻找一个新的世界吧。
    这感觉是忽然而来的,曾经熟悉的或许早已不在了,我只是刚刚确认而已。
    这是最灰暗的时刻,因为人生最空虚的东西都在这时被我洞悉。
    于是我只能做感情上的娼妇,从一个依赖辗转到下一个依赖,无法停下来。
     
    同样的人,同样的事,同样的一切,忽然间就觉得不再属于我了,我不想要了。
    是你变了?是我变了?还是这世界变了?
    我不知道。
    我只知道,我对自己说,yoko,再去找一个男人吧,你还能笑得出。
    凭我的经验,我知道我已经驶过了这一站,或者我已经流淌过了这棵树。
    我就像一辆车,或者一条河,要走很远很远,路过一个又一个的男人,停不下来。
    或许我该把这当作上帝给我的恩赐,所以心安理得并洋洋得意。
    唯一的问题,是克服那空虚。唯一的办法,是继续前行。
    饮鸠止渴?我从来都是如此。
    无论如何,只要我还笑得出,就好。

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